(BL) Hunting The Field Guide novel Chapter 271

Chapter 271: Good times and guilt

Kellen needed to work on his own personal control. He felt like he was drowning in his feelings for Rhys, but that wasn’t what Rhys needed at the moment. He needed comfort, not Kellen having his hands all over him. Kellen felt a little guilty for his feelings, but at the same time, Rhys didn’t seem to...mind?

It didn’t ease the feeling inside of him, but with the way that Rhys held him, fed him, and cared for him, Kellen wondered briefly if this was a good distraction for him. To forget the thoughts and worries he had for Gunther.

Kellen didn’t mind being a distraction, but at the same time, he wanted to be able to care for Rhys while he was feeling this way.

He needed to put his own feelings to the side.

That was hard to do after their conversation, and Kellen’s threat, but at the same time, Rhys seemed...better. Soothed in a way, and Kellen was finally able to convince him to eat for himself. Kellen was even able to feed him in the same way that Rhys had fed him, without the comments.

Kellen wasn’t quite to the same level as Rhys, and from the way those damn yellow eyes glittered, Rhys knew it too.

It was an enjoyable moment. An enjoyable time for the two of them. Kellen was happy that they had this time with each other, even if it was because of such an awful thing. He actually felt guilty for thinking that way. It was at the cost of Gunther’s misfortune, or more accurately, Casper’s misfortune since Gunther didn’t even know what was wrong yet.

Kellen even forgot that he was injured since his legs were across Rhys’ lap, elevated, and Rhys was stroking them without agitating his injury. They just...enjoyed each other’s company. Kellen didn’t think about how much Rhys was drinking since Rhys had told him not to worry. It was actually quite nice to watch as Rhys slowly got more intoxicated.

The light flush on his cheeks, the easy way he smiled and the dilation of his pupils told Kellen that this Rhys was getting to the first edge of intoxication. Rhys also got more touchy-feely. Kellen was still nursing his first cider and couldn’t help but giggle as Rhys kissed his neck, blowing raspberries against his skin as he murmured sweet nothings to him.

Kellen felt guilty for how full and happy his heart was. The only comfort he was able to give himself was that he wasn’t going to let Gunther live the rest of his life, now that he knew the issue, without feeling like this.

Love was so much more than what he’d believed. What he and Gunther had believed. _{ƒгeeweɓn૦vel.com}

Kellen had thought that all he needed was a partner to take care of, someone who could also take care of him. A person who he could pour his powers into so he didn’t feel as worthless, someone who he had to guide at higher levels eventually. Kellen had only thought about the simple benefits. He hadn’t even considered what it would mean to have another person in his life that he could actually rely on.

It made sense. He’d had to solely rely on himself for so long, and even when Brent came along, he’d only given him maybe a quarter of the burden he carried on his shoulders at any given time. Not that Brent wasn’t capable of handling more, but that was all Kellen had been willing to give him at the time.

Even now, Brent probably only had about a third of the responsibilities that he should have, but then again, Kellen also felt bad.

Kellen had blackmailed Brent into working with him here. Yes, he was contracted for a short term, and he would be sent out with the first group of Field Guides that they had trained to the front lines, but that didn’t mean Kellen didn’t feel guilty. It had nothing to do with his competency. Brent was plenty competent.

Kellen just had a hard time giving up control. Which led back to his relationship with Rhys. Sure, he could talk big. Say that Rhys couldn’t get rid of him. Even declaring that he was Rhys’ pair in front of the whole Guild when Rhys himself wasn’t so sure, but that didn’t mean Kellen knew what followed after it.

Kellen hadn’t anticipated moments like this. He hadn’t expected to actually enjoy being around Rhys. That he would find comfort in his company, or his arms. He’d always liked men, but he didn’t realised that being held by him, surrounded by his scent and warmth would soothe his worries. Waking up every morning in the Captain’s arms had really comforted Kellen.

The two weeks when he hadn’t had much contact with him had really hurt Kellen. He realised now that he was lonely and sad, and maybe even a little lovesick, but at the time he had pretended that he was fine. He didn’t even know how to put what he was feeling into words.

But now he had sorted out his feelings, mostly, and this time felt like the calm before the storm. He knew that they hadn’t dealt with anything, not really. The Guides weren’t in the tower yet, his Dad’s shooter was still at large, and no one else had entered the gate beyond the unfortunate scouting team.

No one wanted to enter the gate after the scouting team.

If Kellen was honest, he had been avoiding getting more information on the gate. Not out of fear like everyone else, but because he was upset that it was taking time from him and Rhys.

He felt like such an ass for admitting that to himself. People had died and here he was, upset that the gate had separated him and his new pair. It was so small, and so silly. He had bigger responsibilities. Hell, he was training Field Guides to go into the gate. Bree was only a few short weeks away from having to go into the gate without him. He needed to get over this.

Maybe he should go back to therapy too?