(BL) Hunting The Field Guide novel Chapter 368

Chapter 368: We just show it differently

The rest of the day passed in a blur, and Kellen really only came back to himself when Rhys came home.

Kellen found himself sitting on the couch in his apartment, his legs pulled up and his arms wrapped around them. The t.v. was on and he had a channel on that was playing the news of the areas across the water. He had no idea where they were going to land, so it was just a network that played a bunch of news stories from there.

Rhys had to stay behind, more work on his plate now that Hill and Gunther were gone. He had been training up some people to step in once they were gone, but it was the first day. Kellen and Rhys both didn’t expect much.

Brent was gone. Along with Hill. Gwen wasn’t going out yet, the older group getting priority first. They were going to spend the first three weeks out, Hill was going to come back with them, touch base with Rhys, and then turn around and take the second group of new recruits out.

Kellen stared blankly at the man who had entered his home. Rhys had glanced at Kellen, before he took his time taking off his shoes and jacket before he slipped his feet into his slippers and joined Kellen on the couch. He wrapped his arm around Kellen’s shoulder, pulling the other man against him. Kellen’s head fell against his, and Rhys sighed.

"You look horrible." Rhys muttered. "Are you doing okay?" Rhys asked and Kellen shook his head.

He wasn’t doing okay. He was worried. The nagging feeling in his chest was strong. A warning in his guts that told him that something was going to go wrong, and he just didn’t know where.

"I’m worried." Kellen said out loud. It didn’t feel like those words held enough of the concern that was actually filling him. He wasn’t just worried. He was terrified. Afraid. Something was gnawing at him now that he’d sent them away.

"Of course you’re worried. You aren’t with them to get them out of trouble if they are in it." Rhys said. Kellen thought he was making fun of him, so he turned his gaze towards him. When he met Rhys’ gaze, he found that the other man was sincere. "I understand that fear. I have the same feeling every time I send anyone away. Have I set them up enough? Have I looked enough into the future to see if they are on the right path? Can I give them any last minute warnings?" He gave Kellen’s shoulder a squeeze. "It’s normal. That doesn’t make it any easier, though." Rhys sighed.

Kellen turned, resting his head against Rhys’ head and shoulders, thinking. He hadn’t considered that this was a normal feeling, but if Rhys felt it regularly, that brought him some comfort.

He hesitated for a moment, before he spoke.

"I sometimes get feelings like this." Kellen admitted. "And usually, I’m never wrong. I just have this nagging feeling that something terrible is going to happen, I just don’t know when or where. I can’t see the future." Kellen admitted. He fussed for a second, tightening his grip on his knees before he continued to speak. "I had...this feeling when my Dad was shot. It’s also saved my life several times in the gates." Kellen told him and Rhys grunted.

"Huh. That doesn’t sound like..." He trailed off. "You’ve never tested for any Esper powers?" Rhys asked. Kellen snorted.

"Rhys, they would have detected that during the monitored guiding sessions." Kellen told him, like Rhys was an idiot. Plus, no Guide or Esper had ever had both components to them. And even if that was the case, it had never bothered Kellen. He’d never needed guiding. There was no way that he could be both, and not need guiding from a different Guide. Guides and Espers might have powers that worked together, but they were different.

He wouldn’t have been able to Guide himself. It just wasn’t something that the current theories about Guides and Espers would allow.

"Are you sure? They never gave you an Esper test, and your powers have been changing over time." Rhys pushed, and Kellen snapped. He started laughing softly. The idea of going back to the Center to get retested, again, causing his body to just...give in.

Kellen’s eyes flooded with tears, and his shoulders began to shake.

"I’m not going back to get retested, Rhys. I’m done. I’m not doing it." Rhys froze, before his grip tightened and he reached over, making sure Kellen’s head was against his.

"Alright. I understand. I won’t push it. It’s okay." Kellen shook.

"I feel so fucking weak right now. Why am I the only one falling apart right now?" Kellen asked, not wanting to blame Rhys, but at the same time, he was so fucking composed. Rhys twitched.

"I beg to differ. I just-shit. I just look like it on the outside, Kellen. I’m not good inside right now either. I just...I have a hard time dropping my mask when I’m like this." Rhys’ words were tight, shaky, and Kellen felt like an asshole.

Of course Rhys wasn’t okay.