Defy The Alpha(s) novel Chapter 361

Chapter 361: I Am Not A Monster

"Why can’t you sleep with me?" Violet was on her feet now, walking toward him.

"No, please stop." Asher halted her as soon as she got close. "Don’t come any closer."

Violet frowned. "I don’t understand. Why don’t you want to sleep with me?" She swallowed. "Is it my body? Is there something wrong with it? Something you don’t like? Or don’t you want me anymore?"

"Fuck. Shit. It’s not you. It’s me."

"What are you talking about?" Violet was concerned now. If it wasn’t her, but him, then...?

Her eyes widened. "By chance, do you have performance problems?"

"What?"

Violet’s gaze raked down his body. "But that doesn’t make sense. You’re not little or something." Her face flushed. "And you don’t have issues getting it up either. Or is it you can’t release?"

Asher stood dumbfounded for a beat, then groaned. "No. It’s not that."

He dragged his hands down his face, then looked at her with pain in his eyes. "You were in my head last time. Remember?"

Oh, she remembered. No child should’ve had to witness that kind of abuse.

Violet only nodded.

Asher looked like he would rather drop dead than revisit that experience, but he forced himself to speak. "You recall that specific scene where Henry taught me a lesson about women?"

"Oh God." Violet felt her stomach twist. She already knew where this was going.

Asher looked at her like she was some sacred goddess. "From the first time I saw you, Violet, I’ve wanted you. Desired you. I’ve dreamed of this day. But then..."

Violet swallowed, bracing herself.

"Each time I look at you, that scene flashes before my eyes. I can’t get it out. It’s stuck there. He fucked my head up and now I’m broken!" Asher screamed, slapping his hand against his skull in frustration.

"Asher, no!" Violet rushed to him, heart hammering as she grabbed his wrist before he could hurt himself. "Don’t. It’s not your fault! You’re not broken."

Tears stung Violet’s eyes. "Don’t destroy yourself over that monster. He doesn’t deserve it. If you’re not ready, that’s okay. I’ll wait."

"I am ready!" Asher snapped, stubborn. "I just don’t want to hurt you. What if I turn out worse than him?"

Violet cupped his face in both hands, firm. "Listen to me, Asher. You are not Henry. And you never will be. Do you hear me?"

"But you know I have his darkness inside me. He raised me to be like him. A monster."

"Everyone has darkness inside of them, Asher. That’s what makes us human. But you get to choose what you do with it." She looked him dead in the eye. "Do you want to be a monster?"

Asher shook his head. "No."

"Good." Violet nodded, satisfied. "If you’re going to be any kind of monster, then let it be mine. My monster. My good monster."

"There’s no such thing as good monsters, Violet."

"There are," Violet purred, caressing his face. "They’re just not very vocal about it."

Her hand slid down his back, until she reached the towel tied at his waist. She felt him stiffen and let her hand linger.

"Do you trust me, Asher Nightshade?"

"I do," he murmured. "With my life."