141 Not Me
Olivia’s POV
With trembling fingers, I reached into the envelope and pulled out the last paper.
It was folded neatly, like someone had taken their time with it. But the moment I touched it, I felt sick. Like
something was wrong. Like my soul already knew this would hurt.
This was supposed to be my reply.
But I never wrote a reply.
Still, I unfolded it.
My eyes scanned the words.
And suddenly, I couldn’t breathe.
No.
No, no, no.
This wasn’t me. I didn’t write this.
140
141 Not Me
But the words… the words felt like knives. Every
sentence hurt more than the former. They were mean. Cold. Cruel.
I couldn’t believe anyone would say these things to Lennox. Not even someone who hated him.
But this letter–whoever wrote it–pretended to be me.
In this letter, I didn’t just reject him. I hurt him… I tormented him. The words were words that could kill anyone… they were words that hit Lennox in all the wrong places. It was perfectly crafted to hurt him… perfectly crafted to kill and destroy him.
Tears filled my eyes.
I read it again, even though it broke my heart.
My hand started to shake. My knees felt weak. The letter slipped from my fingers and fell to the floor.
Lennox didn’t move. He didn’t say anything.
I couldn’t believe he had carried this pain in silence for
years.
2/10
141 Not Me
I couldn’t believe he got to read something like this- and worst of all, all these years, he thought it came from me. It could have been kinder if the person who wrote this letter had plainly rejected him, but he or she didn’t do that. Rather, they did something worse than rejection.
They killed my loving Lennox.
A sob slipped out before I could stop it. I covered my mouth with my hand, trying to hold in the rest—but I couldn’t.
The tears poured out fast.
Now I understood. Now I understood why Lennox became a monster to me, why he hated me… why he derived pleasure in causing me pain. All that was revenge–to get back at me for my supposed words. This was why he went for Anita, my best friend–to flirt with her in my face.
This letter was why he said he’d never want me—not even over his dead body.
I couldn’t stop crying.
3/10
141 Not Me
I felt like my heart had been ripped open, and now I was just bleeding all over the floor of his room.
That letter… it didn’t just hurt me–it destroyed me.
Because for the first time, I truly understood what Lennox had been carrying all these years.
And even though I didn’t write those words, even though I knew deep down they didn’t come from me… they still had my name on them. My handwriting. My necklace. My memories of us.
That was enough to make him believe.
Enough to make him hate.
I looked up at Lennox, my vision blurry with tears.
He was standing there, cold and still, like all this didn’t hurt him anymore. Like he’d already bled dry a long time ago. But I could feel it. I could feel his pain like it was echoing in my chest.
“You really believed she wrote that?” I whispered.
He flinched. Just slightly. But it was enough.
4/10
141 Not Mo
He believed I said those things to him?
That I could ever… ever say something like that to
him?
I swallowed hard, my heart pounding in my chest. I looked at him, my heart aching.
He was supposed to come to me. If he really loved me like that letter said… he should have come.
I held the letter up, my hand trembling. It felt like it weighed a thousand pounds.
“What if she didn’t write it?” I said. “What if it was
I walked briskly toward my room, my thoughts still tangled in the storm Lennox had left behind. I felt the urge to run back to him and scream until my lungs gave out–but I kept walking. One step after another.
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