Chapter 54 Wish I Had Met You Sooner
In the darkness, Caroline’s voice was so close that it felt like
Alistair could reach out and touch her.
And he actually could. They were lying on opposite sides of the bed with barely three feet between them, just a hand’s reach away from each other.
“I’m pretty still,” Alistair answered honestly.
Then he couldn’t help wondering if Caroline was a restless
sleeper.
He was hugging the very edge of the bed, taking up maybe twenty inches of the seven–foot–wide mattress. She was petite. The remaining four feet should be plenty of room for her to stretch
out.
With this thought, Alistair unconsciously shifted even closer to his edge of the bed. He only stopped when half his body was practically hanging off the mattress.
After a moment of silence, Caroline spoke again, “Actually, I don’t move around much when I sleep either.”
“Oh,” Alistair responded, not sure why she felt the need to tell him
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this.
Eventually, Caroline sighed, “You should move more toward the
center. What if you fall off in the middle of the night?”
Alistair was left speechless. She caught him.
Alistair gave an awkward laugh. “It’s fine. I’ve always liked sleeping on the edge of the bed since I was a kid.”
Caroline rolled her eyes.
“But I’m worried you might fall off in the middle of the night and freak me out,” she quickly added. “Just so you know, I get really cranky when I wake up.”
Alistair silently shifted toward the middle of the bed.
Caroline felt the mattress trembling as he moved closer, and her heart fluttered in response.
Once Alistair settled in, he went completely still.
“Did you sleep on the edge with your ex–wife too?” Caroline asked, already knowing the answer.
“No, we slept in separate rooms.”
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After answering, Alistair found the situation oddly amusing. Here he was, chatting with Caroline in this weird, intimate atmosphere!
They meticulously played the role of a loving couple in public, but rarely talked in private.
“Wait, weren’t you married? Why sleep in different rooms?” Caroline knew everything already, but she wanted to hear his
voice.
Alistair fell silent for a moment.
“Never mind,” Caroline said understandingly. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”
Alistair gave a self–deprecating laugh. “It’s nothing special, really. We were never truly husband and wife. Back then, I needed money, and she needed a father for the baby she was carrying.
So…”
If he could, Alistair would erase this chapter of his life completely.
But what good would erasing it do? It would just be burying my head in the sand.
Saying it in front of Caroline now didn’t feel particularly awkwar
for him.
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No matter how painful the past had been, it was over. He’d completely moved on from that chapter of his life.
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He decided to tell Caroline everything, not to gain sympathy, but simply to state the facts. For some reason, he felt that if she wanted to know, he had an obligation to tell her.
After a long silence, Caroline’s voice carried an emotion that was
difficult to define. “I’m sorry.”
Knowing about his past was one thing, but hearing him talk about it with such detachment was something else entirely.
Alistair thought she was apologizing for reopening his old wounds. He was about to casually say “It’s nothing, I’ve moved on,” when she said wistfully, “I wish I’d met you sooner.”
Alistair froze. His heart suddenly skipped a beat.
“If I’d met you earlier, you could have been Eloise’s dad,” Caroline continued. “Eloise is such a good kid, and I’m a reasonable person. I wouldn’t have made things difficult for you.”
Alistair couldn’t help imagining what might have been. If he had met Caroline and her daughter six years ago, looking back on that time wouldn’t have brought pain and suffering, but sweetness, warmth, and happiness.
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“Unfortunately, life doesn’t offer do–overs,” he said bitterly.
Caroline sighed softly. “Yeah.”
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Life didn’t offer do–overs, but thankfully, now wasn’t too late.
The conversation came to an abrupt end.
In the darkness, Caroline and Alistair lay as stiff as the Barbie dolls Eloise arranged on her toy bed during playtime, a full three feet apart, both perfectly straight and utterly rigid. After just a few minutes, Caroline felt her muscles aching from holding the same
position.
Time seemed to stretch like taffy. All her focus zeroed in on Alistair across that three–foot divide, making it impossible to gauge how long they’d been lying there.
It felt simultaneously like hours and mere seconds had passed.
Through the silence, she heard Alistair’s deep, steady breathing.
Is he actually asleep? There’s no way he could be that chill right
now.
While Caroline wondered if Alistair had fallen asleep, he was doing the exact same thing about her.
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He’d never realized sleeping could be such torture. Despite Caroline’s soft mattress, his body screamed in protest from staying frozen in one position. Every muscle felt like it was on fire.
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