Supreme Magus novel Chapter 1905

Chapter 1905 Good Memories (Part 1)

"You and Mom gave me the strong body that could endure the harshest training. It was you, Dad, who forced me to learn how to read and write, allowing me to pass the written exams to become a sergeant.

"Everything bad that happened in my life, instead, was of my own doing. Every stupid decision I made, every attempt I made to get back at Lith, only brought me more pain and suffering.

"I shouldn't have messed with Phloria Ernas out of envy just like I shouldn't have treated Mom so badly. Even after reaching adulthood, my mind remained that of a childish sore loser.

"I know that empty words cannot make up for all the bad things I did to you and Mom, but it's the only way I have to start. I'm sorry, Dad. I'm sorry for everything I've done.

"As you said, it's too little and too late, but if you give me another chance, I promise that I won't disappoint you again. For whatever short time I have left, I promise that I'll make you proud."

That wasn't the outcome Raaz had been hoping for. He wanted Trion to yell back at him. To try and defend himself, giving Raaz the opportunity to lash out his righteous anger again.

He gritted his teeth, looking in hatred at the shadow of his son. Even in death, Trion was hurting him. Raaz had just found a way to feel better, to relieve his pain, and Trion was already taking it away from him.

Raaz lifted his open right hand, ready to strike Trion in the face and force him to react. At that point, he would be the bad guy again and Raaz would continue.

Then, Tista hiccupped.

Raaz turned around, seeing the pain on Elina's face and knowing it wasn't Trion's fault but his own.

He saw how his own daughter looked at him, in fear. Even Kamila, the woman who had brought light in the darkest hour of his family was pale, looking at him like a monster.

Then, Raaz looked at his own raised hand and remembered all the times that Orpal had slapped him while torturing him.

'Good gods, I'm not just taking Orpal's place. I'm becoming him!' Raaz gripped his right hand with the left, afraid that it might have a mind of its own.

The room started spinning around him as the memories of the suffering he had endured and the time when he had educated his children overlapped. Raaz had never used violence on them. _{ƒreeωebnovel.ƈom}

Sometimes he had been forced to spank Orpal, but only when he kept harassing his siblings and ignoring his parents' scoldings.

As he puked his guts out, Raaz realized that he had let a monster growing inside of him. That he had been feeding it until that moment. That the monster would have taken his place forever if he let it strike his son only to relieve his wounded ego.

"Dad, are you alright?" Trion knelt down, worried about Raaz.

Even while throwing up, Raaz kept clenching his hands together, preferring to get covered in bile rather than let Orpal destroy him for good.

Elina, Tista, Rena, Senton, Lith, and Kamila got close to them, but left Raaz the space he needed to breathe.

It was then that Raaz realized it. Until that moment, he had looked at them without really seeing them. He could hear them, but he had stopped listening for a while already.