"I can't force you to accept it, but I can't pretend that I share your worries either. As I told you the last time we've been here, Lith has always been Lith to me. His time as Derek McCoy can help you understand his past, but it doesn't define his present, nor will it shape his future. That's for us to make."
A long silence befell the room while Kamila pondered Solus' words. It lasted so long that Solus brought tea and cookies that they consumed without saying a word, each one mulling over their respective problems.
"What about you Solus? Why are you sad?" Kamila said after she gave up on sorting the mess that her mind had become. "Is it because this situation makes it hard for you to keep your feelings for Lith in check?"
"Among other things." She sighed. "There's the matter of the baby, Jormun's death, aunt Loka's- Wait, you know?"
Solus turned to a bright shade of purple and so did the lights inside the tower.
"Everyone knows, silly." Kamila chuckled. "Unless they are blind, deaf, and dumb, of course."
"And you are fine with it?"
"Fine is a strong word. Let's say that I've learned to cope with it. I knew about it even before proposing to Lith and I knew what I was getting myself into. I never pegged you for being jealous of our baby, though." Kamila looked at Solus with doubt and confusion.
Solus had been on cloud nine since the day she had learned about the pregnancy and had been nothing but supportive about it. Kamila had no idea that the baby Solus was talking about was her alleged own.
After moving to the Desert, she had shared with Salaark the details of the recent fusion. When the Guardian had reassured Solus that merging their bodies had left no consequences, she had felt disappointed instead of relieved.
She was still struggling to understand that unexpected feeling and the thought that going back into her ring form might reset her body only made things worse.
"I'm not jealous of your baby, you have my word." Solus said. "Quite the contrary, you have no idea how happy I am that you are here and how at ease my mind feels on the battlefield knowing that you are safe."
"I beg your pardon?" Kamila said, her confusion growing.
"Because of our bond, I'm incapable of helping Lith to collect the pieces he shatters into every time something really bad happens. That's something that only you can do since I'm too busy collecting my own.
"My pain is his pain and vice versa. We love the same people in the same way so when they are in danger, we both get unhinged whereas you can ground him. That's why I'm jealous of you.
"That during Lith's darkest hours your touch heals while mine is poison. And don't get me started about the baby. Even if you never came to the Desert and now Lith and I were together, my life would be a nightmare.
"If I were the one pregnant, there wouldn't be one day when I wouldn't be terrified that my cracked life force and core might endanger the baby's life. That every time I step away from a geyser, the tower might cut her off not recognizing her as a part of my body.
"On top of that, in your shoes, Lith would never allow me to follow him on the battlefield. Every hit I take reflects on the tower, compromising my life support system.
"During the battle against Syrook and then to protect Belius, I took so much damage that I would have lost the baby several times over. Yet if I wasn't there, he wouldn't be alive now.
"As long as I can fight alongside him, watching his back even when he's surrounded by enemies and make sure that he comes back home alive, I don't care about my feelings.
"That's why I'm happy he has you and you have my word that I would never do anything that might compromise your relationship. I love you, Kamila Yehval Verhen. You have filled a huge void in our lives and given us happiness. freewebnoveℓ.com
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