Supreme Magus novel Chapter 2639

A mind link would have transmitted the images and the feelings that Solus had experienced inside the Mindscape while the fusion allowed her also to share her current inner turmoil and the feelings that reliving the experience aroused.

"I'm glad to have met my parents one last time even though they were just recordings stored in Mogar's consciousness. I was really happy to hear them say to me how they never resented me, yet I still can't forgive myself.

"I don't blame myself for what happened to Threin, I mean my father. But that only because as he told me, I was just a child who didn't know better. What happened to Mom, instead, was entirely my fault.

"Awakened or not, past 20 years of age I would have been considered an adult even on Earth yet I kept acting like a spoiled child. I was so full of myself that no matter how many times Aunt Loka and Malyshka tried to open my eyes, I never listened to them.

"I never sought advice, only validation. Even if Mom didn't resent me, I do. I wasted what time we had left together and, even after recognizing my faults, I never had the guts to make the first steps and apologize.

"The great Elphyn Menadion who rivalled with the Fourth Ruler of the Flames on a daily basis wasn't capable of opening her mouth except that for bragging and bitching.

"If only I told Mom to stay with me after she saved my life instead of making it all about myself as always, she would still be alive!"

Solus slammed her fist on the table, sobbing a little. The hardwood would have split and the plates shattered if not for them being part of the tower itself.

"I'm far from being a forgiving and compassionate guy, but when you woke up after being fused with the tower, you were just back from the dead. Don't you think that maybe the shock, grief, and confusion played a role outside of your control?" Lith asked.

"I don't know." Solus lowered her gaze in sadness. "I don't remember that part. What I know, however, is that Mom wouldn't have never left my side before making sure that I was alright.

"I bet my life on her waiting until I regained consciousness to explain to me what had happened and teach me how to operate the tower in case she didn't return. I bet that I stood there like a moron, crying for myself and my fellow apprentices instead of worrying about my mother's health after undertaking such a crazy feat.

"I should have checked up on her. I should have begged her to stay until she recovered completely!"

ραΠdαsΝοvel.cοm "You can't blame yourself for something you may or may not have done-"

"Yes, I can!" Solus yelled at the top of her lungs, cutting him short. "Because whatever I did, I sent my mother to die! You are right, I don't know for sure what I did but whatever it was, my mother ended up dead.

"And you know what really hurts? It's knowing that after everything I did, after all the cruel things I said to my mother, she died feeling guilty. Even when I cared only about myself, she only cared about me.

"I was her final thought while she passed away from her wounds, but what was mine? What the heck was I thinking when Bytra stabbed me? Not knowing is killing me because I can't help but fill in the blanks with the most obvious answer.