The Prime Minister's Darling novel Chapter 1190

Chapter 1190: 577 Background (second update)

"Is life in the borderlands always so harsh?" Gu Jiao, who had visited the borderlands, naturally knew of the people’s suffering there, and had heard that Princess Ning An did not carry the burdens of royalty and suffered alongside the common folk.

But wasn’t this a revelation of Ning An’s true nature? It inevitably led to suspicion that her supposed hardships were performed for show.

"I do not find it harsh," said Huangfu Xian.

"Indeed," responded Gu Jiao.

She recalled how, even in their poorest days in the countryside, Jingkong had never complained about the hardships at home.

Sometimes, what a child desires can be very simple.

Huangfu Xian looked towards the inscrutable expanse of the night sky, "But then, everything changed."

Gu Jiao looked at him.

Huangfu Xian’s gaze was firmly fixed on the brightest star in the night sky, as if recalling some unreachable memory, "After my leg was broken, she became like a different person. She became fearful of getting close to me, no longer carried or hugged me like before, and wouldn’t let me sleep with her. She said she was afraid of hurting my wound."

"I was only five at the time. I didn’t understand. As I gradually grew older, I realized that it wasn’t fear—she was disgusted. She loathed my broken body, that I could no longer be a normal child, she even disliked being around me."

"During bone-setting, I always hoped she would stay by my side. She didn’t need to hold me, just holding my hand would’ve been enough."

"But she never did."

Not even once.

Gu Jiao seemed to understand, Huangfu Xian’s self-loathing was largely due to the disdain from his parents, especially Princess Ning An, which had devastated his pride and confidence. Compared to the loss of his legs, the various forms of violence inflicted by Ning An were what truly dealt the destructive blow.

Why did his mother not love him?

Was it just because he had no legs?

What then was the meaning of his life?

Gu Jiao looked at him and said, "Despite her treating you this way, do you still feel sad for her?"

Huangfu Xian was silent for a while before softly saying, "...She is my mother."